FGFC: Strait-Jacket

Well kids its time to once again open up the vaults and dive headfirst into another Final Girl Film Club flick. I'm not even going to beat around the bush this time, I freaking Loved Stacie's pick this month, which was "Strait-Jacket." An awesome movie from 1964 from director William Castle, or as I call him "Oh he of 'House on haunted Hill' fame" because I fell in love with that movie when I saw it too. So the man has chops. Not only that but the movie stars Joan Crawford, who I had just seen in "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" So clearly going in I was psyched.

Preamble crap:

This month a return to the shorthand form that I started with. Partly to try and reclaim the fun, partly because I'm ass deep in boxes full of my belongings trying to get ready for a move. You'll roll with me on this one right?


The Cast:

Lucy Harbin – Joan Crawford
Carol Harbin – Diane Baker
Bill Cutler – Leif Erickson
Emily Cutler – Rochelle Hudson
Michael Fields – John Anthony Hayes
Doctor Anderson – Mitchell Cox
Leo Krause - George Kennedy
Raymond Fields – Howard St. John
Mrs. Fields – Edith Atwater
Frank Harbin – Lee Majors


Whats the basics?

Lucy Harbin (Joan Crawford) comes home early from a trip to find her younger husband, Frank (Lee Majors) aslseep in bed with his lover. Distraught, Lucy lashes out at the lovers with the first thing she finds, an axe! Unfortunately he 3 year old daughter bears witness to the horrific acts (both the murders and the extramarital shenanigans)

20 years later and a lot has changed, Lucy has spent her time in an asylum after being judged insane and is now being released to live with the now adult Carol, and Carols uncle, Lucy's brother Bill and his wife Emily.

Adjusting to life on the outside is difficult for Lucy, she is nervous around strangers, including Carol's "almost fiancée" Michael, she is uncomfortable with the way she has aged, she is hearing things and even having nightmares (severed heads on a pillow, not so good for the sleepy time),

Lucy seems to have ups and downs, Carol treats her to a makeover, which leaves lucy looking (and occasionally acting as if she were) 20 years younger. Of course all of the progress hits a bit of a snag when Dr. Anderson from the asylum stops by for a visit. Lucy once again becomes very nervous and agitated, and people start getting killed.

But is Lucy the culprit?


What works for me?

As we know I'm a sucker for well shot black and white, and there were times here when director William Castle (Oh he of "House on Haunted Hill" fame) just blew me away. There were literally a few stills that I would love to have blown up as art on my wall. But I don't know, maybe that just makes me a geek?

Aside from that the acting was pretty damned good as well, I mean Joan effing Crawford! You know you love her don't deny it. Then there is Diane Baker, I found her performance to be very good on the first viewing but on the second viewing once I knew that she was in fact the killer I found the subtlety that she put in there to be pretty near to brilliant. Her face during that first uncomfortable hug, he body language during her conversation with Dr. Anderson, the little digs she put in when "pushing" Joan Crawford's Lucy into doing things she wasn't comfortable with. Really I just loved it, beautifully disturbed!

Say what you will but I say that rhyme was awesome, so aweome I'm sharing it right now, just you try and stop me! "Lucy Harbin took an axe, gave her husband 40 whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave his girlfriend 41." That just plain rocks, if I have kids I may teach that to them. Hey, don't judge me, you probably taught/will teach your kids that horrible rhyme about the black plague.

Since I brought up the ending where Carol turned out to be impersonating/framing her mother for the killings in an attempt to get Michael's parents out of the way. If you look at the story as a whole, give the movie an extra viewing or two you will see that actually it is laid out very well so you are lead to believe that it is probably Lucy, but Castle was very careful to shoot it in a way so Carol's ultimate reveal could make sense. Had the movie been made today, odds are there would have been unexplainable stuff thrown in there to put you off the trail. Laid out quite well indeed.

In addition to the main killer story there is also the intertwined secondary story with Lucy's sanity. Clearly she was better when released (or as much "better" as she could be) as is evidence by the ending where she is quite clear about what has happened and what needs to be done, she was just being driven back into madness as part of Carol's plan.

A young Lee Majors losing his head. I don't need to say anything other than that, Fun!


The other side of the coin:

With all the good there was a bit I found to be, well not great, but still not really bad. Mainly there wasn't a whole lot of feelings of danger for most people. Michael, Lucy, Carol, Bill and Emily never seemed as if they were possible victims of the killing, so that is just a bit over half of the main cast feeling safe and sound right there (ok so one of them was being driven crazy, but that wasn't revealed really until the end). Also Leo Krause the creepy jerk farm hand really seemed like the only reason he was there was so someone could be killed between Dr. Anderson and Mr. Fields, nobody even noticed poor Krause had eaten it.

Dr. Anderson, why did he feel the need to lie to Bill but felt it was ok to suddenly speak the truth to Carol? And for that matter, assuming that Lucy was actually released on probation clearly they would have had to let Bill and Emily in on that since it was their property she was staying at yes?

Also disappointing to me was that Lee Majors did not pop back up in the last half of the movie with a new bionic head....Ok so this one wasn't ever even a consideration, but come on that would have been badass!


Rhetorical questions:

Who was watching 3 year old Carol while Frank was out getting his groove on?

Why was Lucy the only person to get off of the train at that stop?

Did you notice the Columbia statue at the end is headless?

Did you laugh in delight when you noticed it like I did?

Are you judging me right now?


Obligitory ass kissing moment:

Once again I have to mention how much I enjoyed this flick, and dammit I just have to say Thank you Stacie, I doubt I would have found this one on my own.






Boomer Sooner

Abridged Review(s): "Why so serious?"

Hey there, remember me? I'm the angry guy that used to frequent this place and bitch about a lot of things and geek out about other things. Ring any bells? No? Well it has been a while. I guess we start at the beginning then. Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and and taste. I've been around for a long, long year. Stole many a man's soul and faith.....No wait thats someone else. Screw it just read back you'll remember me!

As I said in my last post way way too long ago I've been keeping busy with projects of one sort or another. I've also been taking it easy on the movie front. I have a lot of them on my plate that I want to get to (including getting back on track with that pesky IMDB list of so long ago! (I've actually snuck a few in that I haven't spoken of yet(Three sets of parenthesis!!!))). But there are a few flicks I've taken the time out to check out recently, some good “The Dark Knight,” Some less so “The Incredible Hulk” but I'm getting ahead of myself. Settle back, buckle up, and keep all your hands and feet inside the car at all times this could be bumpy. Let's jump right into it shall we?

The Incredible Hulk
If you don't remember me then you probably don't remember that I consider Ang Lee's Hulk to be a bit of a masterpiece. Admittedly I do owe a large nod to the always incredible Kim Morgan for my enjoyment of “Hulk.” If not for he enthusiasm for the flick I never would have touched it. It may be a flaw in me but for some reason or the other I just am not a huge fan of The Incredible Hulk. The comic books have never held my interest, the TV show bored me, etc...

I was very much ready to skip this one and catch it on DVD. Unfortunately it happened to come out right about at the same time as Father's Day was rolling around. I decided to treat my dad to any flick, his choice. Though I urged him towards “Iron Man” he wanted to see “Hulk.” I decided hitting him in the face with a steel folding chair wouldn't be the appropriate response to his choice so I went with it.

To say my expectations going in were low would be a mild but accurate way to put it. And as such my expectations were met. There was some decent enough action, a little story. I was glad that it wasn't a complete origin story, so at least it didn't make Lee's film completely irrelevant. The casting was good enough, though I really really wish that we could have had more time with Tim Roth as a human, or a super human before they made him a CGI abomination (there is a pun there if you choose to fish it out).

I think the biggest crime the movie had for me was that it just left me feeling like all I had seen was another big actiony summer flick instead of a movie that was part of a world that is larger than that. Which is what Marvel is obviously going for. I mean there were some references to the “universe” in there, the main ones being the S.H.I.E.L.D. Computers, and of course the ending cameo by Robert Downy Jr. Who completely stole the movie by the way. But other than that there wasn't much.

Oh, and the final fight between The Hulk, and The Abomination looked almost as realistic as some of the cut scenes you get on your average Xbox 360 game nowadays. Seriously I laughed.

All in all I'd say rent this when it comes out on DVD or if you have the means Blu-Ray. With the exception of the end fights the CGI is relatively well done and the action is OK. The story is workable, though I still feel that it would have served the movie better to be connected more with both the Ang Lee “Hulk” and “Iron Man” but we can't have it all can we? Let's just pray that “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” takes more after “Iron Man.”


The Ring (second viewing)
Originally I hated this movie. I considered it a huge disappointment. See when I was going to ITT we talked a lot about movies (gotta do something to avoid classwork right?) and someone whose movie taste I really trusted told me I needed to watch this “It'll scare the shit out of you...literally” he said. Now at that point I'd seen some scary movies, but none of them had required a change of pants afterwards so I was intrigued.

Netflix was contacted, the movie was sent and then the movie was watched. The next day I went back to class and had to ask my friend which part of the movie was supposed to do the damage. He seemed both baffled and flabbergasted at my dislike of the movie.

Cut to a few years later and I see the Internet's Final Girl Stacie Ponder making goo-goo eyes all over “The Ring.” So again someone whose judgment I totally trust is loving on this flick. So with a little coaxing and realizing that I've been incorrect in the past I decided a round 2 was in order.

In fairness the first shake I gave “The Ring” was at about 3 in the afternoon, it was bright out, I was just out of class and my brain was probably still wound up from math or some such. Not necessarily ideal for a scary movie. This time I was relaxed, it was night, there was actually a nice rain going on outside. So the scene was set.

So was I wrong originally? I'd say yes and no. I will now admit that yes it is a good movie, and it'll suck you in more than you realize. Was there an unfortunate accident during the viewing, no. It wasn't that kind of movie.

The interesting thing about “The Ring” is that instead of the sudden big scares it relies pretty heavily on the long running slow creepy eerie scare that like I said just grabs a hold and you may not even realize it is affecting you. Trust me, it affects you. I found that out about 30 minutes into the movie (half past Midnight for me mind you) when My phone rang. Well OK that almost got the job done, I'm man enough to admit I jumped. Then I answered and cussed out my friend for calling so late and having such terrible timing....jerk.

The twisty type thing near the end would have been a lot more impact for me had I not known it was coming, still I was able to appreciate that it both made sense and fit in with the movie and didn't “break” anything. Which is always good of a twist.

I'd still probably just call this a rent, if only because I just don't know if the chills and eerie feelings would hold up to multiple views. But it definitely is a fun scary watch.


The Dark Knight
So umm yeah, stop reading what I'm saying here and go watch the damn thing yourself. If you've already seen it stop and go see it again!

Actually I will say a few short words on it. Everyone loves Bale as Batman, you can't argue with that. Ledger has been getting huge praise for his turn as The Joker. I agree with all said on that of course. Maggie Gyllenhaal's Rachel Dawes is also getting a lot of good attention, again I agree though I wish she would have had a bit more screen time. Lets face it, the movie is an acting powerhouse. But here is what bothers me. All of these great performances and yet I'm not seeing nearly enough praise going towards Gary Oldman, whose performance was subtle and brilliant. Gordon isn't and shouldn't be the focus of a Batman movie obviously, he is kind of an ancillary character. Still Oldman was able to deliver the goods. C'mon people, you know you loved him so come out and say it already!

Yeah I'm going to go ahead and just say as soon as possible pre-order this one. I know it will be in my collection ASAP. Though before that go see it in the theaters again. I'm hoping I can catch it in IMAX since I was unable to on opening night.

Next on my list is possibly “The X-Files: I Want To Believe” though after reading some unflattering reviews that seem to confirm my fears I am really worried...


So there you have it, some movie talk, nuts as it may have been.

Abridged Review Part Deux (The Quickening): Cloverfield

Ok so it has been a little while and I've thought about it and yes; while I still think the Spinal Tap inspired review of “Cloverfield” was both accurate and hilarious (at least to me) I also feel I should back the opinion up. At least a little.

So what killed “Cloverfield?” Very simply the first 20 minutes. Look I'm all for rocking the boat, breaking the rules, bucking authority and what have you. But only to a point. One of the main rules of movie making is, Don't be boring! Especially don't start out boring. Hell Trey Parker even mentioned something to that effect in the commentary on “Cannibal: The Musical”

The first 20 or so minutes of “Cloverfield” were just mind numbingly boring. Get this straight buster, those crappy home movies, nobody likes them, nobody watches them. Not even the people in them, or whom they were for. Nobody. So doing one seriously in a movie to help us get to acquaint us with the characters just doesn't work. It certainly doesn't work when it goes on and on for nearly a half an hour with NOTHING happening.

Lets not forget this is a monster movie right? So over 20 minutes in and no monster? Well that has happened before, but usually you would be explaining where the thing came from. But that wasn't this movies point or MO which is fine, in fact it was one of the selling points that got me interested. Who cares where the thing came from it is causing carnage and that sounds like fun to watch.

Instead of getting to the action quick the explaining time was replaced with drivel. We found out that Marky got with Sharon and Sharon got Sharice. She was sharing Sharon's outlook on the topic of disease. Mikey had a facial scar and Bobby was a racist. They were all in.....Wait, that can't be right it's too entertaining...But it was something similar to that. We got a home movie a boring boring home movie.

You may notice I haven't focused on any other problems with the movie that happened later on. Good eye. That's because the first 20 got me so disinterested and angry that I never recovered. The rest of the movie was competent but not mind blowing. Some things were good, top notch effects, decent city decimation etc... But some things weren't so great, the in joke with the cameraman's name being “Hud” ceased being funny 42 seconds quicker than immediately, the little parasites scurrying around were kind of weak, and frankly a lot of the reactions this group were having just weren't believable.

Most of the errors could have been easily forgiven had it not been for the tortuously dull beginning.

In the end “Cloverfield” did something that even the worst of the worst movies are rarely able to do to me. It made me angry because I was so let down.

I still remain optimistic but now a bit skeptical of what Abrams is going to do with the “Star Trek” reboot.

Don't hurt me again J.J. Next time I'll send a friend of mine to have a few words with you...


Can I get a Hell yeah?

Abridged Review: Cinematic Titanic: The Oozing Skull

So a little explanation on this one first. What is "Cinematic Titanic?" It is a DVD series in the vein of Mystery Science Theater 3000 with a cast that is comprised of MST3k alums including original host Joel Hodgson. It isn't exactly like MST3k though, CT puts more focus on the actual movie, they don't break into it with skits etc..(though they do pause the movie on occasion for some silhouetted shenanigans).

Ok then so what about "The Oozing Skull." what is that? It's a horror flick from the 70's that was originally titled "Brain of Blood." Part of the deal that CT made when acquiring the rights was that they should re title the movie so as not to confuse merchandising. "Brain of Blood" is the type of movie that on it's own I could definitely see myself sitting down and watching (MST3K had a few of them as well, most notably "This Island Earth" from MST3K: The Movie).

Extremely brief overview of "The Oozing Skull/Brain of Blood"
The leader of Kalid, Amir, is dying. This is bad. But there is a chance for him by way of an experimental, and scoffed at by the medical community, brain transplant. As per usual that doesn't go exactly as planned. Instead of a normal healthy body Dr. Trenton must place Amir's brain into that of the Doctor's large deformed assistant. Amir's new body has unplanned and violent side effects on Amir's mind. On top of that Dr. Trenton has his own nefarious plans. Throw in an angry violent dwarf assistant, and a chained up woman in the basement and that about covers what you should expect!

So yeah the film on it's own is pretty awesome.


Now the "Cinematic Titanic" elements.
This is where I may upset some people. Before I start I'll say that I Love the concept and I really really want the franchise to succeed.

That being said I didn't love the experience as much as I had hoped. I did enjoy it.


The Good
Funny people getting together and talking funny about questionable movies, just a fun concept. The crew is great and clearly comfortable with this style of comedy.

As per usual with this kind of fare not every joke told will be a winner. But those that work do so extremely well. I'll admit that the Minnesotan accent killed me every time (which to be fair is the norm for me. Even when it is just family speaking with it.).


The Not So Good
Some of the jokes just came off a bit too contrived and practiced. Also the pace of them was at times just a little much. Take a breather guys!

The silhouetted look was reminiscent of MST3K though slightly tweaked. I didn't mind that, and the movement was nice. I wasn't so much a fan of the crane jokes that really slowed things down.

The biggest thing I think was that it just seemed like a stream of one liners in rapid succession as opposed to a running commentary.


Final Thoughts
What we have here in essence, nitpicking aside, is a few things. It's an interesting concept, a nostalgia inducing good time, an entertaining movie, and above all else a great start!

If you were to ask me my opinion on if you should pick this up or not I'd have no trouble telling you to run to the site and order yourself a copy. Small bumps aside it is a fun time. Also remember supporting this movie helps ensure the future of the series and the future potential here as I see it is huge!