FGFC: "The Burning"

So the FGFC pick this time around is ”The Burning” a movie from the magical time of 1981. When you think about it some pretty awesome things happened in '81: “The Greatest American Hero” debuted, MTV was launched, “Halloween II” graced the silver screen, the IBM 5150 was released, “Evil Dead” came out, Julia Stiles, Amy Lee, and Natalie Portman were all born, and “An American Werewolf in London” was released....I think something else happened in '81 but I can't seem to remember what it is. Anyway getting back on track, as you can see “The Burning” had quite a bit to live up to.

The beginning a.k.a. What happens before the running around and slicing

As the movie starts we see Camp Blackstone where a group of young campers are planning on giving the camp Janitor Cropsy a bit of a scare. Apparently Cropsy isn't a very nice person and as such these kids take it upon themselves to break into his cabin while he sleeps and place an actually really creepy looking, worm ridden, waxy, severed head, with candles in it's eyes next to his bed. The prank works a little too well, Cropsy does in fact get scared...he gets so scared that he bats the head off of the shelf onto his bed where it promptly sets fire to him. As he jumps and runs around he knocks over his handy can of gasoline and the fire really takes off. After a quick fiery jog Cropsy makes with the stop and roll all the way down a hill into the river.

One week later at St. Catherine's Hospital we find out that Cropsy has survived, but he is burned badly “A fuckin' big mack...overdone” as he is described by a hospital employee.

Cut to five years later Cropsy is finally being discharged and the Doctors parting advice is that he let go of the anger towards the kids that did this.

After a brief stabby tryst with an unfortunate lady of the night it is time for Cropsy to return to Camp Blackstone to exact his revenge!


Thoughts

I wanted to love “The Burning” I really did which in retrospect may have been my problem. See I don't dislike much about the movie but at the same time not much really stands out as particularly awesome either. The overall atmosphere of the movie seems right, some decently tense moments, some fun camp stuff, pretty much the usual and not much else.

There were a couple of things that bothered me or I found strange for some reason or the other. One of them being when Todd and the kids are sitting around the campfire and Todd told the story of the “legend of Cropsy.” Since Todd was one of the kids directly responsible for burning Cropsy it seemed inappropriate for him to be using that story for entertainment. I could see if one of the kids told it as a scary story and Todd had sat uncomfortably or something but... The other thing that bugged me a bit was the character development. For the most part the campers who were killed I really wasn't all that involved with. For that matter I don't believe I was surprised even once by a slaying, they all came about fairly obviously. In fact I was more surprised by who all survived than anything.

As far as highlights go, I'll probably get a lot of flack for this one but I thought it was pretty cool to see a young Jason Alexander in a much different style role. Sure he was a bit cheesy, but actually that is what made him believable. I mean haven't we all met that kind of smart assed, sometimes funny guy who seems to be able to get along with everyone?

In the end I would have to say that it was worth watching once but in the future I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it again. If I am craving a summer camp slasher I'll be putting in “Sleepaway Camp”, or the old standard “Friday the 13th” part whatever. It hurts me to have to say that for me “The Burning” makes my thumbs point towards the middle...Or it would if I used my thumbs as a movie rating system.

Abridged Review: The Condemned

It should be no secret at this point that from time to time I do enjoy watching a movie that is...shall we say not an award winner. Sometimes I just like a big ol' actiony-blowup-FU-athon. Which is exactly what I was expecting when I popped “The Condemned” into my DVD player. What I ended up with was a movie full of potential that fell quite short of my expectations. This is a total shame because I had really high hopes for ”Stone Cold” Steve Austin. A man who I believe has the talent to make the switch to main stream entertainment ala The Rock.

So what went wrong? There was plenty of back story which wasn't even laid out all that terribly but this isn't a storyline kinda movie now is it? Is it?? No, this is an action packed fight to the death on a remote island type of movie. That's all the story you need to know! But like I said the “story” stuff I didn't have a problem with. I only expected it to set up the carnage, which it did. THAT is where things come took a bit of a dive.

Take note, this is a WWE film. What does that mean? Well to me it means that the one thing that they should be able to have done right in a movie is the fight scenes, I mean hell one the companies main job is basically filming fight scenes. So why they allowed director Scott Wiper to film all of the fighting scenes in the style of someone holding a camera while falling down Springfield Gorge we will probably never know. I want to see some blood laden, sweat dripping, swear inducing fights, I don't want to succumb to motion sickness. On top of that it most of the “contestants” ended up eating it in the exact same way. Using the C4 laden ankle bracelet to kill one or possibly two of the competitors would have been fine, I don't even mind the bit at the end, but come on enough with the boom boom already. Although I guess I shouldn't be that upset about the use of the C4, after all if everyone had been finished off in a unique and entertaining way I may have missed it, what with the camera's doing the constant gymnastics during those scenes and all.

Just a few other smaller gripes I had. Since he is the star of the movie how about giving Steve Austin a little bit more to say and do. I know they angle they went with for the character was he didn't talk about himself (or anything really) but it seems like he could have had more, everything he says doesn't have to be some sort of catch phrase.

In the end I'm glad I watched it just to say that I did but in the future when I'm craving something of this sort I'll stick with Battle Royale.

FGFC: "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon"

Ah another month and another Final Girl Film Club review.

So...

What would you get if you put “Halloween” and “This Is Spinal Tap” in a blender and slapped the puree button¹ ? An ungodly mess of chopped up tape and plastic all over the place...you really need to remember to put the lid on those blenders. If instead you just took the ideas behind the two movies and mixed them together then you may end up with something resembling “Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.”

As is fast becoming my tradition with the FGFC selections I went into this one fairly blind. I read no reviews and only barely looked at the synopsis on Blockbuster's site as I added it to my queue....which by the way ended up being wasted effort as I couldn't get it sent, long wait they said! I think this is another tradition in the Film Club...tracking down a copy of the movie. Worry not though, two honest to god B&M Blockbuster visits later I had a copy of the movie in my hands. Let me just say that it was totally worth the effort.

¹ I'm sure that I am totally the first person ever to make that comparison...I'm so clever!

The Basics

Leslie Vernon (Nathan Baesel) is a man who takes pride in his chosen career. So much so that he allows a grad student, Taylor Gentry(Angela Goethals) and her documentary crew to follow him around as he makes the preparations and gets himself ready for his big night. This all seems normal and good until you take into account that Leslie Vernon's “Big Night” is all about him solidifying his status as a legend along the likes of , Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers.

Yep you heard me right, in a world where “Nightmare”, “Friday”, “Halloween”, etc... are real events Leslie wants to solidify his name and legend up on the list. Not only that but he also wants to show the world just how he achieves this massive accomplishment.

What works for me

How awesome is that? The flip side of a horror movie, screw following the victim around all they do is normal everyday thing until the action starts. This time we get to follow the killer around and see as he......does everyday things until the action starts. What?

All joking aside the idea is just fresh enough to work. Not only that but the movie is able to simultaneously pay homage and poke fun at slasher films (sometimes in the same breath) and do it in a respectful way, that makes me happy.

The pacing of the movie was done really well, about two thirds of the movie were spent in the “set-up” stage while the last third was spent playing out the actual execution (pun only semi-intended(unless it was hilarious, then it was totally intended(if it wasn't funny at least this set of multiple parentheses are(right?)))) of the plans.

Leslie himself was actually (for the most part) a likable character, which given the circumstances and his intentions is quite disturbing in itself. He came off as for the most part playful and happy, like anybody might be if they were doing their dream job and making their greatest wishes come true. He of course also had his dark side, his quirks, his eccentricities if you will. But really other than his ultimate goal of manslaughter(teenslaughter) on a grand scale he wasn't so terribly unusual.

Maybe it is just the fact that I recently have been going through a lot of very good classic slashers for the first time (Halloween, Friday the 13th, Friday the 13th Part 2, Last House on the Left, among others) but I really had a good time picking out all of the references that were all over the place. Let's not forget that there were some impressive cameos as well! In fact one of my favorite references was combined with an awesome cameo. That would be Zelda Rubinstein appearing as librarian Mrs. Collinwood(Last House on the Left reference of course). By the way if there is anyone out there who doesn't enjoy a good Zelda Rubinstein cameo please let me know who you are so I can make sure that you get a punch in the crunch(I'm not sure where “the crunch” is, but I'm sure it is painful).

Speaking of Cameo's how great was it to see both Freddy and Jason in a movie together again? Even if they didn't share any screen time, and one of them was only fleeting...still, cool!

Lastly and most importantly. Any movie that is in any way, shape, or form made in, around, or about Oregon is automatically 3.141592653% more awesome.

Final Thoughts

Final thoughts? As I said I really dug this movie, I've recommended it to my horror loving friends already. But still every rose has it's ...not so rose-like side to it and as such “Behind the Mask” wasn't perfect.

I would have liked some more time with Doc Halloran, he could have been a more major player with a much better background if they had found the time to squeeze it in. Plus honestly, how great would it be to see Robert Englund take a more active role in fighting off a psychopath?

While I'm complaining about characters..and be careful here cause so far I haven't been very spoilerish, but I might tread on that water here. Early on Taylor confused me a bit, I could never tell if she was morally ambiguous(like many of todays “infotainment” reporters seem to be) or just naive. One minute while interviewing Leslie she seems to be appalled at his murderous plans, the next she is running out to the library parking lot and jumping for joy with him because his plan of killing the librarian not only went ahead as planned but netted him his “Ahab”. Which is it? Are you sickened by the death, or does it thrill you? ...Why was Killing Mrs. Collinwood ok but killing two coital teenagers is crossing a line?

The twist ending was obvious, but pulled off well. When I think about it actually I realize that without the twist the ending would have been really boring. I mean we had already seen hims “plans” in a flash forward sense, so something had to be changed....Still, a little bit more effort to hide what the plans were at least during the beginning would have been fine with me.

In the end the only real complaint I can make. The only thing that truly irked and bothered me to the core of my soul is Leslie's insistence on using the term “Survivor Girl.” While that term may or may not be industry correct I think we all know the truth. The term is “Final Girl” dammit!

Friday the whatnow?

Before I go any further I would like to mention I had originally intended to get this done and up by the actual Friday the 13th so I could participate in the awesome Final Girl Friday the 13th Blog-a-Thon. Unfortunately due to a series of unfortunate incidents (probably not involving Jim Carrey) I wasn't able to make deadline...

That doesn't mean I'm just going to roll over and be silent. In fact this is going to be quite rant-ish! You see I watched “Friday the 13th” for the first time last week. Yep I said first time. Some day maybe I'll tell you about how I was tortured with horror movies when I was younger and so only now in my 26th year of life have I seen both “Halloween” and “Friday the 13th” for the first time....I still haven't watched “A Nightmare on Elm Street”.

So, onto “Friday.” I'm skipping my regular(boring) semi-review, we all know whats up here. Bad stuff happened at a camp a long time ago, camp is about to reopen, bad stuff happens again, yadda yadda yadda. Right? ...Though if I were doing my review I would mention how I was very pleasantly surprised that this was a “Holy shit there is a psycho killing people” movie instead of a “Holy shit there is a supernatural psycho killing people” movie.

Instead I am just going to point out the one scene that blew my mind in a bad way¹....

Picture it, you are in a cabin on a dark rainy night with nothing to do, it is decided a game is to be played, someone grabs Monopoly and hauls it over. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere Alice exclaims “I hate Monopoly”....Really Alice, hate? You hate Monopoly? Are you even an American...no screw that are you even a human? Hate Monopoly??? Do you hate the flag and puppies as well? I suppose you stomp kittens in your spare time as well? I assume you have plenty of spare time, what with your “hate” of Monopoly! ....I'll be honest, I can't wait until I get Friday the 13th part 2 in the mail now just because I KNOW that Alice and her Monopoly hating days must come to an unpleasant end.

...But lets not dwell on the girl who didn't die, lets focus on one that did(and probably deserved it as you will see). Ok, back to this “Strip Monopoly” game they are playing. First off, I'd like to know who set up the rates because if landing on a freshly bought Baltic require the loss of a shoe what happens with a hotel laden Boardwalk? My guess is some sort of ritual sex act...

Anywhoozle back to Brenda. At first during this scene I thought I was going to end up liking her, I mean after all she wanted to play Monopoly (See that Alice, she knows what is good!), in fact she even made up Strip Monopoly which combines two very fine past times(though not very well as I mentioned above). So what happened that made me turn on Brenda as quick as I did on that nutjob Alice? Well just take a gander at the posted picture.

See what the problem is? No? Let me help, after Brenda rolls the dice she exclaims “Double sixes, I get to go again” or something to that effect...Do you see the trouble now? Brenda is a filthy cheat and a liar, just take a look at the blown up version(I know it isn't as clear as I would have liked either) clearly you can see that the dice do now show a six and another six, they show a one and a two, yup good ol' Acey Ducey. So you see Brenda was a cheat and after that whatever she got she had coming to her!

But like I said, other than the one scene there I really enjoyed the movie. Especially since I suspect Beastie Boy involvement



¹ You should be able to tell this is pretty much completely tongue in cheek²

² But seriously..who hates Monopoly?

Final Girl Film Club: The Innocents (Askewed style)

I had it so totally planned out, I was going to get “The Innocents” in the mail quite early (almost immediately after the last Film Club review ) watch it and write down my thoughts and have everything wrapped up in a nice little bow safe and sound just waiting for the due date to spring forth.

Then I got the movie and watched it. I don't know what the reason was but on my first run through the movie I was heavily disappointed, it could have been my mood, it could have been the expectations I had for what I was going to see, it cold have been the great big glass of haterade that I had with lunch I just don't know. What I do know is that I saw it the first time and was demoralized, the motivation that I had felt to write something up and get it ready dwindled to almost non existence. I struggled to put words down. So I took a break and moved on to some other movies.

One of those movies was “Wrong Turn” another movie for which I had really high hopes upon my first viewing (a few years ago) but was ultimately disappointed by. The only reason I gave it another shot was because Stacie demanded it (by demanded I of course mean gently urged(by gently urged I mean subliminally implanted the command into my brain(Woof!*))). As it turned out I no longer agreed with my first thoughts on “Wrong Turn” Though it is not my favorite movie of all times, I still have some issues with it...I mean come on you you hired Eliza Dushku for a reason give the poor girl something amazing to do!..but I digress. The point is when I started thinking about finishing up what I had written about “The Innocents” I realized that maybe I was quick to condemn it.

It was decided (by me) that I needed to watch it again. Sadly I had already packed it back up and shipped it on it's merry way so the second viewing would have to wait until the magical mail gnomes saw fit to once again deliver DVD goodness to my doorstep. This is what took a large chunk of my time.

Once The movie arrived and I started watching it I caught myself really getting into it this time, enjoying it and noticing a lot more than I had the first time (in my original viewing it never even occurred to me that the haunting may actually not be real). At that point I really had no choice but to rewrite everything.

Also worth noting, while I write these things I usually scan through the movie so I can point out certain scenes more clearly and grab screen shots if I want. The first time I attempted to do it this time I ended up just watching the whole thing through a third time.


*I barked like a dog? What on Earth are you talking about, I did no such thing!

The Basics
When Miss Giddens (Deborah Kerr) takes on the position of governess for a young girl, Flora (Pamela Franklin) and her brother Miles (Martin Stephens) things start out quite well. She lives out on a country estate in England, a rather large and beautiful estate at that. The children seem quite well behaved. She even strikes up a fast friendship with longtime housekeeper Mrs. Grose (Megs Jenkins). Yes things seem to be going well indeed. Or are they?

Not long after Miss Giddens arrives she begins to believe that the spirits of the recently deceased governess, Miss Jessel (Clytie Jessop) and her lover, the valet Peter Quint (Peter Wyngard) are not only haunting Bly. But they are also attempting to poison and claim the souls of the children!

What worked for me
Normally here I like to pick out some scenes or dialog that really stands out to me and proclaims “Hey I'm awesome, remember me!” But I confess I am kind of at a loss this time. Not because there weren't any awesome scenes but because there were way to many. The entire movie had a very fluid feeling about it for me. But this would be even more boring than usual if I didn't try to come up with something and so we continue on.

There are things about the movie that I can point out. Things that all to often I tend to overlook or take for granted but this time really caught my eye.

The scenery is perfect; extremely lush beautiful countryside leading up to the estate, some great garden areas in the surrounding area some quite pleasant some downright creepy. That isn't even mentioning the house itself, you can definitely feel how large the place is, a vast amount of rooms each finding a way to invoke a different emotional response (even the creepy creepy hallway gets into the act).

If I mention the scenery I also must find time to mention the lighting. Would the hallway be half as creepy if it wasn't for the flickering candlelight keeping only the essentials visible? Probably not. Would the scene in which Miss Giddens sees Quint up on the tower been quite as intense if not for the blinding light pulsing in and out? I don't believe so.

The best thing about the movie for me though? The fact that it is never explained whether or not the haunting is real or if it is all nothing more than a very unfortunate figment of Miss Giddens imagination. In the end you get to believe whatever you want to believe.

A few tidbits I really enjoyed
Ok, so I decided there were a few scenes worth mentioning, leave it to me to contradict myself..I'll beat myself senseless later, but for now...

I really liked the entire opening scene/setup with The Uncle (Michael Redgrave). Very quickly it presented everything you needed to know. You learned that the children were orphaned, why The Uncle isn't taking care of them himself(I wouldn't either, them are some creepy kids), why they need a new governess, what is expected of her, what experience she has (or doesn't have), where she comes from(preachers daughter?...that explains a lot), that above all else she loves children (why doesn't she marry them then?....sorry). I also rather like the character of The Uncle. If nothing else he is honest.

Though most of the scary/creepy in the movie was in fact creeping (pun may or may not have been intended there) there is one scene that does stand out as unsettling. Miss Giddens decides that a quick game of hide and seek before bed would be ok for the children, when her turn to hide comes she masterfully decides to hide behind a closed curtain (because who would look behind there?) but as she shuts the curtain behind her outside Quint slowly steps up to the window staring directly at (or is it through?) her. It may not sound like much as I have typed it but the cold stare of Quint combined with the absolute shock/terror on Giddens' face make the the scene quite intense and very unsettling.

And what can I say about the ending? As I said it is up to your interpretation. In my eyes what happened was Miss Giddens' hallucinations lead her into a madness that ended up driving poor Flora insane and left Miles dead from fright/shock.

Askewed Review: "To Kill a Mockingbird"

I am on a never ending quest to repair the damage that my youth caused. Namely I am trying to play catch up and see all of the movies that I should have seen. After a suggestion (and some slight urging) I decided a good place to start would be “To Kill a Mockingbird”.

The Basics
Taking place in the 1930s In the small town of Maycomb Alabama a black man is accused of raping and beating a white woman. There is only one lawyer in town willing to take on the case, that man is Atticus Finch.

Atticus is a widowed father of two, his children Scout and her brother Jem spend their summers with their new friend Dill. They explore the town, play games, and discuss “Boo” Radley the local “madman” (at least according to town legend and Dill's Aunt). That is until the trial starts and the kids start to learn just how harsh and unfair the world around them can be.

What worked for me
One of the first things that came to my mind as soon as I was done watching the movie was that I couldn't actually classify it to just one genre. There are elements of a coming of age story, Scout, Jem, and Dill living, playing, and growing up in a small town. Then there are the some very suspenseful elements, the kids investigating “The Radley Place”. There is even a bit of family drama with Atticus doing what he can to raise his kids up correctly. Top that all off with a nice little chunk of courtroom drama and you stay may not have cracked more than just the surface of all that is going on!

My lord, has there ever, or can there ever be a man in the history of movies who is better than Atticus Finch? What a great character, a hero in the truest sense of the word. Win or lose what matters is he never compromised himself or his beliefs. Gregory Peck was really a highlight of the movie for me...Did I mention how great I think Atticus is?

The movie definitely takes its time getting where it is going. Even so there really isn't any dead moments, everything in the 2+ hours seems very deliberate. Even the few small tangents that are taken are well placed and help you really get to know and care about the characters and the situations that they are in.

Final Thoughts
The two paragraph “basics” story summary that I put up there honestly doesn't do the movie anything near justice. I intentionally chose to keep it short, had I let myself go I could have easily gone on and on and on (in fact in a first draft I did). That really wouldn't have served any good purpose, what I am hoping my briefness will achieve is to convince at least one person as I was convinced to rent “To Kill a Mockingbird” and be blown away (again just as I was) by it.

For what it is worth I have added this to my shortlist of movies to buy. I made the decision a few days after watching it when I realized how much I was thinking about it, multiple viewings I am sure will bring out new realizations and a new appreciation for the film. As I said there is a lot to absorb.

As I said this movie made me think a lot, especially about racism and injustice and what a truly messed up place this world has been (and can be) at times. The fate of Tom Robinson after the trial is heartbreaking, and Bob Ewell's attack on Jem and Scout is very disturbing. Of course the attack leads to the revelation of “Boo” Radley (a silent but still expressive and young Rober Duvall).

I like to add pictures and screen shots to my writings quite often, just to break things up a bit. This time I really want to bring attention to one of my favorite moments in TKaMB, the scene in the court room after the jury's decision came in. Even when the rest of the courtroom has cleared out the uppers section (the black section) waits for Atticus to leave, standing as he does so showing their respect for the man who fought for one of their own when nobody else would.

In summary (isn't it a little bit late for me to be summing things up?) I give “To Kill a Mockingbird” a surprising and mighty pollex up!

....now stop reading my tripe and go rent it for yourself!

Abridged Movie Review: Prince of Darkness

Time to try something new. Never let it be said that I'm not a joiner!

Over at Final Girl the awesome (yep I still use the word awesome) Stacie Ponder has a film club. This is my humble first attempt at joining in. Mainly I'm doing it because I don't want to be a pitied fool.

First thing is first. I had a really difficult time getting a hold of this movie. Like ridiculously difficult. So much so that I even eventually ventured into the small local library in town here to check their collection of DVDs to see if by chance they had it.... Of course they didn't and I'm pretty sure that my inquiries into a movie called “Prince of Darkness” made me a topic of discussion/worry at at least two or three of the local churches here in town. When I did end up with a copy of the movie I didn't have it long so I unfortunately was a little bit rushed while watching it. I'm hoping to grab myself a copy and revisit it soon and maybe update what I am about to say.

Anyways...

When I sat down to watch “Prince of Darkness” I only knew two things about it. First it is John Carpenter movie and second it is about some sort of “Prince” of Darkness”. So going in blind I really didn't know what to expect and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised...If “pleasantly” is an adjective that can be used when talking about this movie.

Whats that basics?
It seems that the Catholic Church has a secret, a secret that has been hiding for many years in the basement of an old abandoned church. The death of a priest brings a key and diary into the possession Father Loomis (Donald Pleasence) who soon after discovers the church, the basement, and the giant cylinder full of some pretty nasty looking green goo.

Father Loomis consults with a professor (Victor Wong) and it is decided that they along with a few select students will set up shop in the church to decipher just exactly what all is going on here. Naturally once they all get settled in it doesn't take long for things to go wrong... Fatally wrong!

So what works about this movie for me?
Well for starters Carpenter did an awesome job of making with the creepy. Seriously, it is like he reached into his brain and used every disturbing image he could pull out. An old dimly lit church (by the way the lighting was spot on perfect for the mood), evil insects, strange dreams, a murderous Alice Cooper, the list could go on and on!

I may lose man points for this but I swear if I glance up and notice that the window is filling up with worms I'm gone!

I really liked that it was such a slow burn and took the time that was needed. That is something I think a lot of movies recently have been missing. Having that “I wonder what will happen next?” feeling is a lot easier when you have actual time to wonder. Though with all the time that they had I do wish they would have explored a few things a little more fully, the dream/message for instance. To me the reoccurring nature of the dreams and the explanation seemed a bit rushed. I am glad it was included, it played a major role in what I thought was a really good way to end things.

"Prince of Darkness" has a little something for everyone at one point or another. Religious thriller, a bit of science fiction, zombie like minions, killer bugs, some humor, a little romance, and just about the best mustache that has ever been committed to film.

My personal kudos go out to Jameson Parker for having the ability to sport such a masterpiece! I wish I knew his secret.